I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
