so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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