Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
