Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
we're so committed to being not committed
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
