Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
