Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
