I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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