i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize