I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
