Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
