They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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