She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
