May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
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Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
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I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.