to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
17 People Admit the Worst Thing They’ve Done To a Server
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
