I will die if light touches me.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....