capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
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Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
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I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.