Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
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He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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