If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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