your room smells of hookers.
And success
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
