Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
