Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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