This is not my ceiling
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
