don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i love accidental penises.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
