so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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