Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to