i can juggle bunnies
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?