I wanna bring you to show and tell
She's JV to your varsity
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
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some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
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I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???