so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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