So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
