i jhust puked up my retainher.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
