I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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