Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
