dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
