i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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