Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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