Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
