there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
