it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
