remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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