so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
