You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
