I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
