Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
