Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
