I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize