Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
