honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
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