ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
What's dad's email?
Sorry about my life...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.