trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?