Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My butt remains clenched, sir.