you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.