ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low