There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.