I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
