so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He better not be in your backpack
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
