the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
