he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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