Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
