So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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