his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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