I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize